5 Things to do if You are Considering a Divorce…
Thinking about divorce is never easy. Whether it’s been on your mind for a while or it's a recent thought, it’s a deeply emotional and life-altering decision. As a divorce mediator and coach, I’ve worked with many individuals at this exact crossroads. If you're in this space, here are five steps I recommend taking before making any final decisions:
1. Take an Honest Inventory of the Relationship
Ask yourself what’s working and what’s not. Write it down if it helps. Sometimes, clarity begins by simply putting your thoughts in black and white. Is the issue a lack of communication, unmet needs, or something deeper? Try to pinpoint the core problems.
2. Seek Clarity, Not Just Validation
Talk to a therapist or coach—not just friends who may automatically take your side. You need honest, objective insight, not just support. This is about gaining clarity for yourself, not being talked into (or out of) anything.
3. Educate Yourself on Your Options
Divorce isn’t one-size-fits-all. Mediation, collaborative divorce, or traditional litigation each have pros and cons. Knowing your legal, financial, and emotional options can ease some of the fear and uncertainty.
4. Consider the Impact (and the Intentions)
If children are involved, think carefully about how this might affect them, and how you’d want to handle co-parenting. Also, be honest with yourself about why you're considering divorce. Is it a reaction to pain—or a thoughtful decision about your future?
5. Prepare Emotionally, Not Just Legally
Divorce is a legal process, yes—but it's also an emotional journey. Start building a support system now. Journal. Join a support group. Begin the inner work. The more grounded you are, the better decisions you’ll make.
Considering divorce is brave, vulnerable, and overwhelming all at once. No matter what you decide, know this: You deserve clarity, peace, and a path forward that feels right for you.
— Paige Harley MA, Divorce Mediator & Coach
Do’s and Don’ts of Divorce, LLC